情商3：影响你一生的工作情商（第2版）

有一位老人因忽视服用降压药物，血压升高而导致重度中风，住进了专治脑损伤的医院，接受精心护理。他是生是死就看这几天的治疗进行得如何。纷繁复杂的治疗都集中在测定大脑的损伤程度，也要努力防止进一步的脑出血。

这位老人的好友恰好是这家医院的护士，她来探病时碰巧看到了他的病例，发现他服用了很多药，可是没有一种是用来控制血压的。她对此深感不安，就问正在患者身边专心看脑电图扫描结果的神经科高级住院医生：“他在服用控制血压的药吗？”

这位脑科医生因自己阅读扫描结果被打扰而十分恼火，怒气冲冲地说：“我们只管救命！”说罢，扬长而去。

这位护士朋友十分震惊，因为救助老人的最关键药物竟然被忽略了。于是，她急忙赶到院医务主管办公室，等正在打电话的主管方便谈话时，她首先表示不好意思打扰对方，然后解释自己正担心的事，结果，这位主管马上要求给患者服用控制血压的药。

后来，这位护士告诉我：“我知道，我绕过了正常程序，直接去找医务主管，有些欠妥。但是我也知道，有些脑出血患者由于血压没有得到控制而不治身亡。事情迫在眉睫，我只好打破常规办事。”

规章制度、标准程序是有弹性的，一个人是否有勇气打破常规，就要看他有没有自信。研究人员曾对一家大学附属医院的209名护士进行调查，结果发现，那些自我效能强的护士一旦面对不当的治疗措施或面对可能发生的医疗风险，最敢讲出自己的意见。自信心强的护士敢于提出与医生不一致的意见，或者如果事情得不到纠正，她们敢于向上司表达自己的观点。

向上级或他人提出不同意见是一种勇敢的行为，更何况在等级森严的医院里，护士是处于较低阶层的员工。充满自信的护士相信，如果她们说出的意见有分量，就会促使事情向好的方向发展。缺乏自信的护士则认为，与其挑战上司的权威地位、纠正错误，不如明哲保身、少言为妙。

护士也许是一个特例，因为一般来说护士很容易找到工作。在一些就业困难的职位，比如教育、社会服务、中层管理，要表现出类似的勇气，公开表达自己的看法，就需要更强的自信。但是无论从事什么工作，或是在哪个机构就职，敢于冒风险提出自己的意见，敢于揭露问题所在，敢于点明不公正，都是自信心强的员工能够做到的。相比之下，一般人只会嘟嘟囔囔在背后小声抱怨，或者干脆缄口不言。

1. Decision making in entrepreneurs: Ann Graham EhringerMake Up Your Mind (Santa Monica, CA:MerrittPublishing, 1995).
2. The circuitry of the extended amygdala, which I refer tosimply as the “amygdala,” is described inJames D. Duffy,“The Neural Substrates of Emotion,” Psychiatric Annals,January 1997.
3. The amygdala as the storehouse for emotional memory—if only in terms of the emotional valence(liking ordisliking) of what we experience: See Joseph LeDoux, The Emotional Brain (New York:Basic Books, 1996).
4. Bad decisions: Gretchen Vogel, “Scientists Probe FeelingsBehind Decision-making,” Science,February 28, 1997. Likethe brilliant lawyer, Damasio’s other patients withprefrontal deficits madedisastrous financial, professional,or ethical decisions, even though perfectly capable ofdescribing therational pros and cons of a decision. Theydrifted in and out of marriages, squandered money infoolishfinancial decisions, and at work wouldinadvertently offend or antagonize their coworkers.
5. Top executives and decision making: Weston Agor, TheLogic of Intuitive Decision-making (NewYork: QuorumBooks, 1986).
6. Ehringer, Make Up Your Mind.
7. Nalini Ambady, “Half a Minute: Predicting Teacher Evaluations from Thin Slices of NonverbalBehavior and Physical Attractiveness,” Journal of Personality and SocialPsychology 64 (1993). Almostthe same level of accuracyhas been found from brief observations in forty-four otherstudies, includingone of people’s interactions with bosses,peers, and subordinates: Nalini Ambady and Robert Rosenthal,“Thin Slices of Expressive Behavior as Predictors of Interpersonal Consequences: A Meta-analysis,”Psychological Bulletin 111 (1992).
8. Gavin deBecker, The Gift of Fear: Survival Signs That Protect Us from Violence (New York:Little, Brown, 1997).
9. “Awareness of One’s Emotional Experience,” one ofseveral emotional competencies identified atAmerican Express Financial Advisors, was shared with me by Kate Cannon, director of leadershipdevelopment there.
10. The new introspectionism: Stratford Sherman, “LeadersLearn to Heed the Voice Within,” Fortune,August 22, 1994.
11. Richard Abdoo: Sherman, “Leaders Learn to Heed theVoice Within.”
12. Satisfying work and outstanding performance: Robert E.Kelley, How to Be a Star at Work (TimesBooks, 1998).
13. The unhappy entrepreneur: Ehringer, Make Up Your Mind.
14. Engaging skills at work and heart disease: see LeonardSyme, “Explaining Inequalities in HeartDisease,” TheLancet, July 26, 1997.
15. One of the main self-awareness methods Zuboff uses is “focusing,” developed by Eugene T.Gendlin at theUniversity of Chicago, and The Focusing Institute, Spring Valley, New York. SeeEugene T. Gendlin, Focusing (NewYork: Bantam Books, 1981).
16. Mort Meyerson recants: Mort Meyerson, “Everything I Thought I Knew About Leadership IsWrong,” FastCompany, special edition, May 1997.
17. Joe Jaworski: quoted in Allen M. Webber, “Destiny andthe Job of the Leader,” Fast Company,June/July 1996.
18. The case of Harry: Robert E. Kaplan, Beyond Ambition:How Driven Managers Can Lead Betterand Live Better (SanFrancisco: Jossey-Bass, 1991).
19. Lack of self-awareness and derailment: Morgan W. McCallJr. and Michael Lombardo, “Off theTrack: Why and How Successful Executives Get Derailed,” technical report no.21, Center for CreativeLeadership, Greensboro, NC, 1983; A. M. Morrison et al., Breaking the Glass Ceiling: CanWomenReach the Top of America’s Largest Corporations? (Reading, MA: Addison-Wesley, 1987).
20. Accurate self-assessment in managers: Richard Boyatzis The Competent Manager: A Model forEffective Performance (New York: John Wiley and Sons, 1982).
21. Common executive blind spots: Kaplan, Beyond Ambition.
22. How others see us as a more accurate predictor of jobperformance: e.g., Dianne Nilsen,“Understanding Self-observer Discrepancies in Multirater Assessment Systems,” presented at theannual meeting of the American Psycho-logical Association, San Francisco, 1991.
23. A small, inventive step: James O. Prochaska et al.,Changing for Good (New York: Avon, 1994).
24. Self-awareness and superior performance: Dianne Nilsenand David P. Campbell, “Self-observerRatingDiscrepancies: Once an Overrater, Always an Overrater?”Human Resource Manager,Summer/Fall 1993.
25. Self-awareness in star performers: Kelley, How to Be a Starat Work.
26. Boyatzis, The Competent Manager.
27. Lee Iacocca, Iacocca: An Autobiography (New York:Bantam Books, 1984).
28. The tale of the shy lawnmowing entrepreneur: cited in David Leonard, “The Impact of LearningGoals on Self-directed Change in Education and Management Development,” Ph.D. thesis,Weatherhead School of Management, Case Western Reserve University, 1996.
29. People can learn to become more self-confident: see, for example, Jerome Kagan, Galen’sProphecy (New York:Basic Books, 1994).
30. Self-efficacy: see Albert Bandura, Social Foundations ofThoughts and Action (Englewood Cliffs,NJ: Prentice-Hall,1986); Albert Bandura, “Organizational Applications ofSocial Cognitive Theory,”Australian Journal of Management, December 1988.
31. Self-efficacy and job performance in new accountants:Alan M. Saks, “Longitudinal FieldInvestigation of theModerating and Mediating Effects of Self-efficacy on the Relationship BetweenTraining and Newcomer Adjustment,” Journal of Applied Psychology 80 (1995).
32. Inner maps of self-efficacy: Daniel Cervone, “Social-cognitive Mechanisms and PersonalityCoherence: Self-knowledge, Situational Beliefs, and Cross-situational Coherence in Perceived Self-efficacy,” Psychological Science 8 (1997).
33. Self-confidence early in career predicts success later atAT&T; Ann Howard and Douglas W. Bray,Managerial Lives in Transition (New York: Guilford Press, 1988). Study afterstudy finds that self-confidence distinguishes successful,effective workers from those who perform poorly; see, forexample, Boyatzis, The Competent Manager.
34. Self-confidence in high-IQ people and career success:Carole K. Holahan and Robert R. Sears, TheGifted Group inLater Maturity (Stanford: Stanford University Press, 1995).